How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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