I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
