i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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