I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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