Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
