they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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