we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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