Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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