Will you blow on my dice?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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