i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize