just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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