I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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