If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
