A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
