I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
