it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
