i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She bit a glass in half.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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