Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
