Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Randomize
