but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I am available for nakedness
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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