weddingsv make me drug and hornr
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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