he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize