Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
