after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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