She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
