fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
