This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
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i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
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I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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