I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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