my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
