I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
