so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
