He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
