I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Randomize
