when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
