Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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