Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
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