Porn is love you can see.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
