Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
