But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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