I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
