YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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