Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
