I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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