i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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