Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
