I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
