Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
