My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
