If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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