I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
