sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
