Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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