I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize