a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
