I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
