is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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