in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize