like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
