i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
