what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
