there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
