This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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