Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
