his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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