I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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