yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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